Chisme

Chisme are two-hundred-word-or-fewer mentions about goings-on in Miami. Like the city itself, they can be sordid, sincere, or both.

Report to us with Local Characters, New Attachments, Old Wounds, Unspeakable Truths, Poorly-Kept Secrets, Premonitions, Parties, Winds of Change, Hotspots, Forgotten Spots, Scams, Schemes, Shocking Sights, Inside Scoops, Openings, Closings, Feuds, Thoughtful Reviews, Thoughtless Encounters, Favorite Brands, Objects of Desire…

Anonymity optional. Our favorite submissions will be featured in print.

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It’s the Company You Keep
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We were 12 when Macki Bags took the city by storm. Who else dragged their mother to Paper Boutique in South Miami to get theirs? What began as a math class doodle for Miami Native artist, Macki Alvarez, quickly turned into a tween sensation. She has recently relaunched Macki and Co. digitally (@__macki) and we are living for the nostalgia. Girls become women so quickly here, it's nice to have an escape.

nostalgic millenial
World Premiere of Cantalupo's Gather 'Round, A Live Musical Experience
Highbrow

Join us for a candlelit jazz and sound bath immersive experience at The Sanctuary at MBCC, a 100 year-old church on Lincoln Road. Mark your calendars for this Saturday, May 11th from 8-10pm, presented in part by Tierra Santa | Faena. Tickets can be found through @gatherround.live or on EventBrite and range from $46-$120.

fulanito
Kolodny Art Studio & Gallery Comes to 25th Street
Highbrow

Shawn Kolodny is an artist based in Miami and New York. For the past 15 years, he has created large scale installations for cultural institutions and private residences around the world. Kolodny’s work explores the beauty and geometric synergies of the natural world, and our relationship to our innermost thoughts.

His signature, playful works made of reflective steel spheres capture the symmetry, volume and balance present in both nature and design. These spheres are placed together to create new forms that reflect the vibrant and dynamic nature of the world around us, and the impact of our ever-changing perspective. Kolodny’s site-specific and shapeshifting installations construct a kinetic and immersive environment for viewers, creating space for moments of mindfulness and self-reflection within their experience. Transcending the traditional boundaries of art, the artist creates new worlds with each installation, that are both fantastical and organic. His practice seeks to encourage viewers to engage with the world around them in more meaningful and imaginative ways, inspiring a childlike wonder.

Shawn Kolodny has opened his new studio and gallery space to the public. Swing by the gallery at 47 NE 25th Street from 12-5 Monday - Friday to see his works on display and interact with the artist.

fulano de tal
Summer Wardrobe Essentials
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Hola Hola! Last Friday I went to @villamelina_official’s launch event at MOE and left in AWE. You can tell the designer is from Miami because all of her clothes were super design-forward and perfect for hot weather. We all know August is going to come faster than we can blink and these sets are literally as comfy as sweat pants, yet stylish and light enough to wear out all day. The overall aesthetic of the brand is just…so Miami in the most elevated way. Check it out! Besos!

fulana who loves fashion
Supermarket Sunday, A Casual, Day-Long Event for Connection and Conversation
Highbrow

As their debut exhibition, Migración de Jarana, nears its close, Supermarket Gallery announces its first Supermarket Sunday. The goal of this recurring event is to give the public an opportunity to browse the exhibition and connect with the artist, as well as the gallery’s three founding members over their intentions for the gallery's future. At present, Migración de Jarana is set to close on Saturday, April 27th, 2024.

Supermarket Sunday will be taking place on Sunday, April 21st, from 12 pm to 7 pm at Fly Studio (7231 Biscayne Blvd, Miami, FL 33138). Come have a drink with us and talk about art!

fulanito de tal
We the Urban Art Exhibition, Family Friendly and Free to the Public
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Palmas de Luna is an interactive pop-up that encourages play through creation. Experience our pop-up art exhibition called “We the Urban” on April 19th from 7-10pm. It will be taking place in the heart of the Hialeah Art District at Unbranded Brewery Company inside of their "Pachanga Room”. The exhibition focuses on urban living in Miami through the eyes of the artists that live here. You will discover the underground Miami art scene, full of raw emotion and untold stories. Artists will showcase a perspective that only the city has revealed. Our goal is to create an accessible space for emerging artists to share their work publicly. We will have a range of media such as drawing, painting, photography, collage, diary entry, poetry, and mixed media. Come by and hang out!

fulana
The Alley Opening, Miami Beach
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Located within the alleyway of the iconic The Betsy - South Beach, The Alley is a hidden gem serving simple yet delectable Italian fare. After originally closing its doors in 2020, the trattoria-style Italian inspired concept is poised to reenter Miami Beach’s culinary scene on Wednesday, March 27. Helmed by award-winning chef Laurent Tourondel, the restaurant is set to serve an  array of artisanal pizzas, flavorful salads, charcuterie-style specialty cheeses, finely selected cured Italian cold cuts and velvety soft serve ice cream. The Alley is an inviting space, featuring warm woods, floor-to-ceiling windows and eccentric pendant light fixtures that hang from sloped ceilings. Designed to cultivate a welcoming experience for guests, the 1,327 square foot, 66-seat indoor dining room is complemented by organic materials such as bamboo and raffia. The charming outdoor dining area includes seating for 24 patrons to bask in the ever-changing art projections of The Orb, the hotel’s unique egg-shaped canvas.

fulanito
Three Creative Twenty-Somethings Announce Supermarket Gallery and Debut Exhibition, Migración de Jarana by Joan Jimenez
Highbrow

Supermarket Gallery announces its first exhibition, Migración de Jarana, a solo exhibition featuring works by Afro-Peruvian artist Joan Jimenez, embodying Jimenez’s anchors: authenticity, representation, tenacity, and anarchy. Supermarket and Jimenez have decided on a selection of vibrant and celebratory works, warm and natural, emphasizing his identity and how it informs his focus and aesthetics. Opening on March 30th, a reception will be held at 7231 Biscayne Boulevard from 5:00–9:00 PM. This is Jimenez’s first solo show in Miami following his indefinite relocation to the United States in 2023. He’s recently shown at ICPNA (Instituto Cultural Peruano Norteamericano) and at SCOPE in New York.

Founded by Maria Gabriela Di Giammarco, Mario Andres Rodriguez, and Jahi Khalfani, Supermarket Gallery is an experimental worker-owned art gallery in Miami’s vibrant Upper East Side neighborhood, located inside of Fly Boutique’s Fly Studio. Our partnership with Fly Studio maximizes the space and enables us to exist in our current state by integrating the gallery and studio. Our program is thoughtfully intertwined with project bookings and styling appointments to activate a dynamic ecosystem where creativity thrives, boundaries blur, and connections flourish.

fulano loves art
Eunoia Wellness Experience Curated by 444 Studios
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Eunoia, a monthly wellness experience hosted at 444 Studios, will take place this month on Tuesday, March 26th from 7:00-10:00pm. This studio is unlike any other, and their curated experiences are no exception. Your ticket includes a group soundbath with @ompeaceyogi, herbal tonic class/tea bar by @beautifulenigma3, 1:1 tarot reading by @herbdivinevibe, group journaling with @amaliamria, experiential photo booth by @a.b.stills, instrumental live music, drinks, snacks, and a curated gift bag for every guest. Schedule some time for healing and self-discovery and get your tickets before they’re gone, available @444.studios.art.

fulanita
The Collab, a Global Culinary Experience by Chef Nicolas Mazier, to Open in Coral Gables
Highbrow

Imagine your neighbor is a professionally trained chef who has traveled the world, perfecting recipes and finding inspiration from his global experiences who invites you to enjoy a gastronomic adventure, complete with carefully crafted cocktails, cultural immersions, and curated live music. This welcoming, lively atmosphere is what you’ll find while dining at Executive Chef Nicolas Mazier’s new concept, The Collab, inside the THesis Hotel in Coral Gables. Throughout the week, a robust live music program, including a resident vinyl DJ, jazz trios, and more, will set the tone with sophisticated, upbeat vibes, transforming from a lively restaurant to a sultry lounge throughout the evening.

“The Collab is a place where neighbors and friends can gather to enjoy a unique spin on international cuisine with bold flavors and innovative techniques,” shares Chef Nico.

The Collab’s menu features a variety of shareable small plates in three categories: Earth, Land or Sea, including the tender Spanish Octopus, braised then grilled to perfection, accompanied by a hazelnut piquillo emulsion and lime crema, plus craft cocktails including Cosmic Cosmo, which infuses Atian Gin with botanicals and yuzu, complemented by citrus flavors of orange and cranberry.

Call 305.667.6766,  follow on Instagram, @thecollabmiami, & reserve on OpenTable.

- South FL foodie
Á La Folie
Highbrow

This just in. Miami native & photographer @valeria.sartoo is hosting her first ever solo exhibition "À La Folie" at @444.studios.art this Friday from 6 - 9 pm.

Bringing together an upscale community of creatives, you can expect an immersive experience into the romantic world of Sarto's work. Make a night out of it and enjoy live jazz with a local band, natural wine poured by @k__u__z__a and nonalcoholic beverages by @kineuphorics and @perrier.

You won't want to miss it... but if you must, the show will be on view until March 10th, 2024 from 11am - 5pm. See you there!

fulana de arte
New Moon, New You
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We have a super new moon in Aquarius today. This is the first time since 1798 that the new moon has been in the same sign as Pluto. What does this mean? Basically we’ve never experienced this before. It’s a clean slate.

Join @RichardBrookens and @Papa_Guru for a yoga and sound bath experience that will prime your nervous system to be able to set new intentions and step into the best version of yourself. Taking place on Tuesday, February 13 at Miami Skin Spa. Doors open at 5. Bring a friend, bring a date, go alone, this is for you- show yourself the love you deserve!

astromami
Goblin on the Loose
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Scrolling through TikTok I stumbled upon a glorious rant with such passion, so many hand movements, and a cadence exclusive to Miami Dade county. I was hooked from beginning to end along with 3 million other people, natives and non natives united. Subject of said rant- sleezeball promoter Suly Papi.

Creator, and queen, Alex Alvarez refers to Vendome (a club I’ve never even heard of) as the embodiment of a cigarette butt. She goes on to describe Suly as someone who “looks like he chews Newports” while telling the story of how he blacklisted her friend for not showing up to the "club" the weekend before. He went on to text her about how disrespectful she was for deciding to not go out. What is it about promoters that think they own the girls they’re getting in? You need them a lot more than they need you, papo.

Let’s just say in the hours following this rant Vendome has restricted comments and Suly Papi himself has gone private. You can run but you can’t hide papi. We know you drive a Honda Civic (but post solely Ferraris on IG) and have 25 criminal offenses. WEIRDO! He’s not even from Miami.

tiktok chismosa
/‘eh-lee-yo͞o/ opening
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The turnout was amazing this past weekend for the brick and mortar opening of Miami native brand, éliou. The accompanying mercado included local vendors such as Peel Soft Serve, Flour and Weirdoughs, Calma Flores, Vital Tonics, and Baking Sunrise. Young Algebra DJ-ed. It was nice to say hi to so many familiar faces and equally as nice to see a lot of unfamiliar ones. Little River seems to be the heart of the current scene with neighbors like La Natural and Moe Studio. It lends itself a lot to community based on location; a tale of two Miamis. If you know you know.

Valeria Sarto
Call His Daddy
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There’s a private school dad helping high schoolers get fake IDs from New York. Evolution has spared the next generation an awkward phase, legal requirements, and a fully realized youth experience. Who am I to judge, I had a friend who made them for us at the DMV herself.

fulano
DIY Love Potion
Highbrow

Look for Chris at the Saturday farmer’s market in the Grove. He has this white honey, which tastes spectacular. Ask him for a sample and see for yourself. Anyway you’re going to buy a medium jar of this Liquid Gold honey, it’s expensive but we’re not doing magic with the honey you buy at Publix, sorry. Try to acquire rose buds or lavender and let them dry. Infuse your local honey with these dried florals and tighten the jar as you speak your intentions out loud. Let the honey sit for a couple weeks at room temperature and then begin to consume one spoon a day, either on its own or in tea. Use the time to envision whatever it is you are desiring in love. One thing to be mindful of- that white honey is known to make women extremely fertile. Ojo.

A good witch
Go Barbie
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Alix Earl, our golden transplant, is a UM graduate with over 8 million followers, in case you’ve been living under a rock. She turned GRWM (get ready with me) videos on TikTok into a multi-million dollar career and is now funding scholarships at the Miami Herbert Business School. She has now joined forces with Spotify’s podcast Barbie in being one of the first talents to sign onto Alex Cooper’s Unwell Network. Another win for the year of the blondes.

Alan
Vinoteca, Grand Avenue's Wine Library
Highbrow

Every bottle of wine has a story, whether it’s that of the winemaker and their family, or even just the grape variety. This new wine shop, located in the heart of Coconut Grove, is a cozy space inspired by the Italian enoteca, a place where people can gather and find their favorite wines and discover new, unique varieties. Vinoteca currently offers tastings, pop-ups, and private events along with a variety of food items, glasses, and Italian ceramics.

vinolover
Art in Allapattah
Highbrow

The neighborhood has been host to the Rubell Museum since its move from Wynwood in 2019. Mindy Solomon Gallery also moved into the neighborhood in recent years, and the art world influx has been further solidified by Marquez Art Projects opening up in September of this year, as well as Andrew Reed Gallery and KDR305 soon after. Ukrainian gallery Voloshyn is also rumored to be opening up in the area, meaning that Allapattah will have the greatest density of high-caliber contemporary galleries and foundations in Miami proper. The aforementioned galleries—Mindy Solomon, Andrew Reed, KDR, and Voloshyn—are even all on the same block. Take your date and look sophisticated.

fulano
Filmgate X
Highbrow

Filmgate Miami is a local nonprofit that hosts an annual immersive festival merging visual storytelling, entertainment, and technology. Calling for a collective reinvention, Filmgate Interactive is focusing on Regeneration for its 10th Anniversary. This year’s festival will feature over 20 installations, talks, workshops, and more. The Festival will be opening Nov. 29th at the Pérez Art Museum with the DDA and closing Sunday, Dec. 3rd with a sunset cruise on Biscayne Bay. Start organizing your Basel week now!

fulanita
Throwbaque
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My favorite genre of Miamian: the boy who forgot his native Spanish but never properly learned English. Does anyone else remember the rowers who didn't have a language?

fulanita
Vogue Cover
Highbrow

Vogue Brasil shot their August cover with none other than Gisele Bündchen at Riverset Studios. Riverset is an epic photo studio, event space, and prophouse located in the heart of the Miami River District. Say hi to Mara for us…

sirena local
Nossa Omakase
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This is not your traditional Omakase. The chef dances with you. It has the same secret experience feel as Hiden, but more of a party. Mention that Steph sent you and you will receive a complimentary champagne and caviar tasting!

@lookingforsteph
Good place to take the parents
Highbrow

El Bagel for breakfast (get there before 11), Macchialina for dinner

@simplykatipoo
Blonde Beach Con Artist
Highbrow

When I was 22 years old and running around from casting to casting on Miami beach, my skinny legs were targeted by this blonde witch who was wearing all white. She gave me her card and told me she could feel my energy and if I needed help to contact her. I was freshly graduated and navigating a new world my university did not prepare me for, so I kept talking to her. She must’ve smelled my desperation because she almost convinced me the only way to get rid of a curse that was placed on my mother while she was pregnant with me was to sacrifice $2000. I almost gave it to her. I wish I remembered her name, but I blocked her and repressed it like I did many things that happened to me from that time.

flaca files
Pickleball Games Miami
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Pickleball, the love child of tennis and ping pong, has become the fastest growing sport in the country, especially in Florida. The World’s Largest pickleball tournament is coming to the Miami Marine Stadium in 2024. The tournament will take place on January 13th and 14th and will feature novice and professional tournaments, along with music, food, and drinks. But be careful: it’s apparently quite bad for your joints.

active abuela
Messi Mumblings
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They’re sending the kids to Miami Country Day School where they will join Shakira’s sons.

fulanita
Throw out Your Multivitamin!!!!
Highbrow

I’m Anna, hormone expert and holistic health coach, and I want to offer you a strategic supplement swap. Most multivitamins are useless at best and harmful at worst. I encourage my clients to be mindful when it comes to what they are supplementing, why they are supplementing, and the quality of the products they are choosing. Let me introduce you to your new starting lineup—beef liver, cod liver oil, vitamin E, vitamin D, and magnesium.


Beef liver is rich in B vitamins, zinc, iron, copper, and vitamin A. Swap the isolated Omega 3s in your pantry for cod liver oil, which you can think of as nature’s Accutane. Vitamin E will get you glowing from the inside out, help to protect you from sun damage, and compensate for the Vitamin E lost when consuming excess seed oils every time you eat out at a restaurant. The best type of Vitamin D to consume is outside your door in Miami, no excuses. Finally, get yourself some magnesium as most people nowadays are deficient due to an inverted mineral ratio of calcium to magnesium in our water. It helps with the chronic stress none of us can escape in this city and aids with sleep.  


Stick around for more soon and check out my Instagram page for direct links to my favorite, trusted brands :)

hot tips and takes with @annamariereilly
Always Love
Highbrow

I used to call her on the phone so she could sing to me as I paced around my bedroom. We were twelve; this was before Instagram, X-Factor, fame, followers. When we were fifteen  we went to see One Direction in concert and she pointed at the stage, “That’s going to be me one day.” It was. This year Lauren Jauregui released her second solo EP, “IN BETWEEN”, which dives into big “Em(oceans),” pushes them away while casually dating in “All In My Feelings,” and confronts what happens when you’re being told you’re “The One” but you’re being shown otherwise. Her vulnerability and unconditional love has reframed the way we all process past loves. Because where does it all go? When you love like Lauren, it’s always there. It’s always love.

Lex
Brillando Books
Highbrow

Pro tip for the mamas: get your hands on the bilingual children’s workbook(s) of your dreams, created by Miami mom and influencer, Betty Pastelitos. It’s for the kids who grow up hearing and speaking two languages in their households, often interchangeably. She currently offers two bilingual workbooks, as well as a Fast Facts Math workbook and a Sight Words Safari. Best part, they’re all on Amazon. Dale, you’re welcome, we’re in this together.

South Miami Mami
The Hottest Yoga Studio in Miami
Highbrow

You’ve probably seen Mimi Yoga all over your Instagram feed because it is quite frankly the most instagrammable exercise venue in the city. The studio has attracted the likes of Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner, multiple NBA players (can’t say who, sorry!), models, top influencers, and Tik Tok stars.

na imastayhere
Miami's Michelin Mess
Highbrow

Who do you have to sleep with in this city to get a Michelin star? It’s hard to take this city seriously, and this list doesn't make things easier. Make it make sense.

masterchef in the making
Pollo on Pause
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I get to Pollo Tropical and the drive through is closed with a sign that says come inside. I make my way toward the entrance and the woman working is outside smoking a cigarette. She proceeds to tell me “que no hay pollo.” What do you mean there’s no chicken? It felt like the twilight zone. It felt like Cuba. I drove to a second location. At least they’re everywhere.

dazed and confused
EVOO Plug
Highbrow

You’re only as good as the quality of the olive oil you have in your house. Read that again. So my little sister has a friend whose family has a boutique hotel in Panicale, Italy, where they also create small batches of the best olive oil you’ll ever try in your life. Rastrello Extra Virgin Olive Oil has a bright green color and unmatched flavor profile. This EVOO has my family in such a chokehold we are hoarding bottles of it, prohibition style. I have my personal stash in a giant wooden box with a tap, which was hand delivered to me during my pregnancy. Talk about customer service! They are already sold out for the season, so try your luck in January 2024.

A
III Points
Highbrow

It has been ten years since the first III Points Festival. Feeling old? A decade of pushing the limits of experiencing art, music and technology. The lineup this Fall includes Rosalía, Flume, and our very own Milushka who is constantly redefining what it means to be an artist in the techno space, performing as both a DJ and a singer. We can’t wait to see where she goes next.

tikitikiboomboom
Upcoming Short Film
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Keep your eye out for Kaila, a local film directed and produced by Miami Natives Angelica Bourland and Andrea Ferro. Miami is home to many exile stories, a theme that punctures past the surface-level legends tourists eat up on South Beach. Kaila follows the story of a young girl who is abruptly moved out of her home in Haiti and sent to Miami to live with her aunt, Marie, whom she has never met before. Having a hard time adjusting to the change, Marie makes an effort to make Kaila feel at home by introducing her to Little Haiti, animated by the same beauty and vibrancy of the place she left. Kaila’s resistance, Marie’s frustration with her: tension builds until they are finally brought together.

your local film freak
It's Vintage, but Digital
Highbrow

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and the same is true for second hand. Gone are the days of trying clothes on in crowded malls. Miami based luxury vintage shops are thriving on digital platforms, because they’re more intimate than brick and mortar boutiques, more exclusive, and largely based on the taste of the curator rather than lame, widespread trends. Social media has allowed for the owners themselves to be walking mood boards for their brands. These women are sourcing, styling, shooting, and selling; it’s fascinating and fabulous. 8vo Ático, CAPSOOL, and Natus Source are just a few to keep your eye on.

professional thrifty
Socially Ambitious
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New professions gain traction before traditional establishments have time to catch up. Socially Ambitious, an online course created by two Miami based influencers, has been designed to fill a hole in the social media market: getting that surprising dream job as an influencer’s assistant. Valued at 16.4 billion dollars, this industry is growing and demand is at an all time high. There are thousands of influencers trying to break into the business and in order to maintain the $50,000 monthly salaries that some of these creators are making, they need help. You may not end up with health insurance, but you have a high chance of finding internet fame.

a fellow brother #heybrother
Sundown
Highbrow

There’s no love story like a Latin love story. In Havana, Cuba 1964, Armando Valle published a compilation of poems called Ocaso. Half a century later and a couple hundred miles north, his grandson Paul uses Café Pilon and onion skins to dye old guayaberas in a new fashion line under the same name. Ocaso is reborn and so is brand chivalry. A dance between structure and softness, romance and masculinity. Fast fashion is out, we’re being courted now. Digital transparency gives us access to the creative process, from the family archives, underground historical influences, works of art, down to the specific Levi ads from the 1920s. It’s personal. It’s the end of something old, a new dawn awaits. 1/1. Coming soon. @ocasolab

native hopeless romantic
Jamon, Jamon (Iberico)
Highbrow

¡Joder tío! Located in Design District’s Mia Market, Bocadoro brings traditional Mediterranean tapas and bites with integrity. All sandwiches are made with Pan de Cristal. If that doesn’t mean anything to you, just know it’s imported from Spain for a reason.

Raul
Lebanese Coffee Whisperer
Highbrow

Somewhere in Kendall, you make the decision to either hear everything or only the good stuff.   When you make your appointment, don’t even bother giving your name, he’d rather not know. He’s over the drama of clients accusing him of doing his research beforehand. It doesn’t matter; the coffee tells him everything.  He takes weeks to respond and months to schedule, but from what I’ve heard, he’s never missed.

gen z native
Punk is not Dead
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Buzz has it one of the many Boca Raton boys to wash up in Biscayne Bay, Dr. M,
has secured funding to acquire and reopen legendary punk bar Churchill's.

Fulanita de Tal
PSA Y'ALL
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Jungle Johanna is one of Miami’s most influential fitness instructors. This Native New Yorker and OG swim-week sensation is known on social media for her routine PSAs on Instagram Story, which are definitely worth checking out. Maybe we can be more like her, because in her words, “She’s eating good. She’s looking good. She’s drinking tons of water and tons of matcha with coconut milk, not oat milk. She’s waking up in the morning and doing her affirmations. She’s going to alcoholics anonymous. She’s going to therapy, and she’s doing her inner child work. She’s surrounding herself with like-minded people. She is in her bag. She is booked, she is busy. She is living in abundance. She is stepmom of the year.” Followed by: “PSA, stop pretending that you’re woke. You’re not woke. You smoke weed all day. You’re not a witch. You’re not a healer. You’re not clairvoyant. You’re a burnout that doesn’t do anything and hides behind Instagram memes.” Her third pilates teacher training certification course will be taking place this January at Break Free Movement.

I'm a fan
Juice Palace Exposed
Highbrow

Take it with a grain of salt if you will, for who am I to ruin your batido de mamey Mondays? I personally only went for fresh fruit, but after hearing the condition of the cooked food, it’s a no from me. Apparently the meat sits in giant garbage barrels lined with plastic and smells like chemicals. It is then served buffet style so I guess if you’re still into buffets in 2023, that’s on you.

fulanito

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